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Articles and Information
Dealing With Double Standards
by Kerrie Saunders, Ph.D.
We've all been there. A meat-eater insinuates that you will have substandard health because s/he believes there are so many nutrients found only in animal flesh or fluids. It comes from non-veg*ns in every area of our lives: teachers, coaches, friends, mainstream health care professionals, co-workers, and family members. Intentions vary from true concern for your well-being to pure ignorance to outright fear and hostility.
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If your veg*n son breaks a bone playing high school football, the morbidly obese coach with dietarily-induced adult onset diabetes again suggests that your family needs to drink more cow milk in order to prevent future bone breakage. He may not even make the connection that thousands of football players break a bone, the vast majority of whom are probably swigging glasses of cow milk and eating cow cheese several times a day.
Or maybe there is no adult over 5' tall in your meat-eating family ancestry, yet some suggest that the petite size of your veg*n child is due to the exclusion of animal products in her diet.
A parent at school, whom you've had to battle just to serve the choice of a healthy snack in the classroom, gives you that "I told you so" look if your veg*n daughter has a sick day from school. She probably does not think twice about the saturated fat and cholesterol she just fed to her son, as she whisks him away with a cheeseburger in his hand, a standing medical order for antihistamines, and seemingly permanent dark circles under his eyes.
One of my personal favorites occurred when I worked at a large rural county health department. We had a vegetarian population of one, if you get my drift. The other employees all knew I constantly studied the connection between diet and disease, and they knew I ate a vegan diet. As you can imagine, my vegan lunches were always the most colorful, beautiful, and well-balanced in the lunchroom. I had come to see my lunchtime meals as a friendly and 'peaceful demonstration' for the many benefits of vegetarianism. (If you have ever been to one of my presentations, you'll remember I love to highlight the many unique ways we can all further the cause of vegetarianism.) While I was not fighting the outside elements with a picket sign for the veggie cause, I was fighting back unbelievable nausea. I would have to consciously take 'micro-breaths', so as not to breathe in too deeply the stench of their frozen animal flesh dinners each day.
Anyway, one day a public health practitioner made it a point to announce that an elderly vegetarian guy out west had a mental disorder due to a vitamin B12 deficiency. As you can imagine, I immediately wanted to go into the litany about all of the saturated fat and cholesterol on their plates, the heart attack rate in the USA, and get into Dean Ornish stuff. Oh, and why stop there? I thought it would also be helpful to point out the lack of fiber, vitamins, minerals, phytonutrients, and antioxidants, and how it all leads to cancer, heart attacks, obesity, T2 diabetes, and stroke, too. It seemed there were a million facts I wanted to spout. But in an instant reigned it all in, most certainly sparing the open-minded colleagues room for future change. I looked up without hesitation and said, "Yep- you have to watch what you eat." Friends, you could have heard a pin drop in that lunchroom. Perhaps they expected defensiveness or maybe even the vegetarian to 'admit' that eating bacteria-laden animal flesh to garner some B12 was, in fact, necessary for human survival. Instead, a calm confidence, a perhaps unanticipated angle to take at such news.
In this instance, by not commenting on the gentleman's reported vitamin status, or giving in to the urge to cite the virtues of a vegan diet, we were spared the end result of such battles - heightened defenses on their end, and that 'talking to a brick wall' feeling on our end. In some situations, you will find that your demeanor, humility, serenity, and clarity of thought will reach a deeper point in the listener than any words you may speak. It is when we're staying truly connected to the power of the message of veg*nism. The entirety of its message is truly greater than any factual tidbits we tend to memorize.
While knowing the many reasons for following an optimal diet, and staying current on research is important, so too is your demeanor. If you feel and look threatened, angered, or fearful when speaking to non-veg*ns, it will weaken your 'delivery.' The double standards placed upon veg*ns when it comes to health or growth can set us up for confrontation in an instant. The important thing to remember, however, is that preventive medical doctors like Neal Barnard, MD, John McDougall, MD, Joel Fuhrman, MD, and Michael Klaper, MD have studied the diet and disease connection in depth. Through the research of these leaders and many others, we can complete the circle of knowledge that vegetarianism is good for the environment, the animals, and humans.
So, rather than allowing the insinuation of a double standard to set us off, it is my gentle suggestion to veg*ns everywhere to let go of negative energy emotions (anger, etc.) when a calm demeanor will be more effective. Hostility from either side will serve as a barricade to communicating ideas. Perhaps focus more often on the momentum of the movement. So many positive changes have occurred; even the status of fast food in America is being questioned the way tobacco was questioned a few short years ago, many states are beginning to broaden their animal protection laws to include farmed animals, teenagers are the fastest growing vegetarian population in the country, and vegetarian foods are popping up in restaurants on regular basis.
Our work is not done yet, but the flow is definitely in our favor. Rather than mope and complain, we are far more effective by celebrating positive changes in our everyday lives. Make it a point to graciously thank the restaurant owner for a new vegetarian entrée. Suggest healthier food items to your local grocer, and offer to gladly help spread the word about their availability. Your best overall strategy is to allow for changes in your approach. Some people learn better by reading, others by hearing, and others by doing. Our energy will probably be best spent focusing on how to plant seeds of change in the listener, rather than yelling at someone who covers his ears.
Dr. Kerrie Saunders is a Master's level psychologist, Certified Prevention Consultant, and a Certified Addictions Counselor. Her doctorate is in Natural Health, and she is a regular contributor to health-related magazines. Her book, The Vegan Diet as Chronic Disease Prevention, is being published by Lantern Books and will be in stores by January 2003. Dr. Saunders currently consults and teaches professionals and clinic patients through Primary Care & Etc. in Port Huron, MI.
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