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My 18-month old son received a toy tractor, complete with farmer and animals as a gift. The tractor pulls a wagon which has spaces for each animal to sit, and when pressed, each animal makes a noise (the farmer, when pressed, plays "Old MacDonald"). My son is very into animal noises right now and would probably love this toy, but my husband and I are having second thoughts about whether to let him play with it because it sends the message that farm animals are happy. On one hand, he's only 18 months old and wouldn't understand the meaning behind the toy, but on the other hand, it seems like it's never too early to send the right messages. We don't know if we should just keep it and pretend the animals are going for a ride with the farmer, or just return it for something else. As for the "Old MacDonald" song, there's no way to avoid that once he gets involved with classes and other children. What is your opinion about this? Thanks - Cristy

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Dear Cristy,

I remember browsing through Toys R' Us looking for gifts for my daughter and seeing a huge array of toys that I would never buy for my child: the McDonald's Happy Meal Maker, the Baskin Robbins ice cream maker (no offense to John), the Betty Crocker Easy Bake Oven, and even the grocery shopping cart with the plastic steaks, eggs, milk, butter, and cheese. No way those would ever cross my threshold. I remember making a mental note that someday I would like to create a toy company that makes vegan versions of all of it. The Easy Bake Vegan Oven, the Vegan Ice Cream Maker, and our shopping cart would have plastic containers of tofu, soy milk, and egg replacer. But what to do until that day?

It's easy to avoid the obvious toys, but what if it isn't so obvious? The toy you are describing is a good example. On the one hand your child would enjoy learning about the animals, hearing their sounds, and interacting with them. On the other, you're probably concerned that he will think all animals are allowed to roam free on the farm and take rides in the farmer's tractor.

I think it's a good idea to start thinking about this while your child is young, but you also don't want him to miss out on an opportunity. In this case, you have an opportunity to teach your son how animals SHOULD be treated. They should be allowed to roam free and treated with respect by their caregivers. I think, in this case, you have a great opportunity to teach your son compassion towards animals. We can't learn compassion for animals if we never get to see them or learn about them.

My opinion is to let him keep the toy and use it to teach him compassion and more about animals in general. I don't think you'll be sending him the wrong message or giving him mixed messages in this matter. Great question!

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