Ask the Editor

My husband went vegan 3 months ago. I am vegetarian and happy to remain so. But lately he is putting a lot of pressure on me to go vegan and I just don't want to. He's even told me he can't be married to someone who is not vegan. I'm afraid he will leave me if I don't go vegan. What should I do? - Kelly

Dear Kelly,

"There are none so righteous as the newly converted" and you are experiencing that in spades right now! Many people who are newly vegan get pretty excited about their experience and want to see the people around them go vegan as well. They've got great intentions, but sometimes their methods of persuasion are a little harsh and even militant.

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It's a shame that he is threatening your marriage over this, but we have to deal with things as they stand. If he is serious about ending the marriage over this then you have two options: First, try going vegan for 30 days and then see how you feel about it. If you love it, your problem is solved. If you don't like it, then go back to being vegetarian at least knowing that you tried being vegan and are sure you don't want to be. The reason I suggest trying it out is because if your marriage breaks up over this issue and you later go vegan, you might really kick yourself for not even making the attempt.

Your second option is to try to get him to agree to live in a mixed marriage. Read a few of the articles here on VegFamily related to being in a relationship where one person is vegan and the other is not. There are many other families in this situation and there are ways to work it out. Just as people of different religions can be happily married, there is no reason why you two can't live happily ever after.

The other thought I would like to share with you is that perhaps you can ride this out. He's been vegan for 3 months, which isn't that long. For all you know he might decide he doesn't want to be vegan anymore. Talk to him about his feelings and why he thinks it is necessary for both of you to be vegan. Maybe there is another issue that is deeper that you need to address. Maybe you can compromise and be vegan at home and vegetarian when you are out.

I wish you two the best!

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