Ask the Editor

Our extended family has visited us upon occasion and stays in our guest room. Although we have told them not to bring non-vegan items into our home, they have done so twice. How can we get the message across clearly that we do not wish non-vegan items to be brought into our home? -- Martie

Dear Martie,

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I would take one of two approaches: light-hearted or very serious. I think it depends on the temperament of the people involved and how likely they are to become defensive. For the light-hearted approach I might write them a funny email or letter telling them a story that goes something like this:

Once upon a time there was this vegan family, and they lived in a beautiful home. They enjoyed having their family come by for a visit. But sometimes, when their family visited them, these non-vegan foods called "Wuffalumps" would stow away in their luggage! The vegan family was concerned because they didn't want Wuffalumps in their home. So they told their family to please check their bags for Wuffalumps before entering the house. The visitors understood the vegan family's concerns and were careful to check their bags for Wuffalumps, and they were also careful not to buy any Wuffalumps from vendors on the street and bring them into the vegan family's home. And the vegan family made sure that their visitors had everything they needed to enjoy their stay. And they lived happily ever after." Or something to that effect. ;)

For a more serious and concentrated approach I would say something like this: "When non-vegan items are brought into our home we feel sad and uncomfortable. We need to feel that our home is a peaceful place, free of animal-cruelty. Would you be willing to bring only vegan items to our home when you visit? We would appreciate it so much and we would feel honored if you would be willing to do that for us. We will be certain to provide you with all the vegan snacks and supplies that you need. Thank you so much!"

If your family gets defensive about this then you may need to take further steps to ensure you maintain a vegan home, which could include not inviting them to stay with you but offering to help pay for them to stay in a hotel (if you want, and feel that's appropriate).

Good luck!

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