Ask the Editor

My fiancee, myself and my three year old daughter have been vegan since the beginning of August 2007. In that time we have been open about our lifestyle and offered any information to friends and family who are willing and interested to learn. Just recently (Thanksgiving Day) it was brought to my attention that I was abusing my child by not allowing her to have turkey or ice cream. Unfortunately my fiancee was unable to attend the family gathering, so my actions were placed on a pedestal. Now my father, his wife and my grandmother (his mother) have all threatened to call CPS if I don't get counseling. What do you think would be the best approach for addressing this situation?

Article continues below

I am so sorry you are having to face such a threat from your family! I'm sure this has created considerable concern and stress for you. But take heart - you can do much to protect yourself and your child.

I suggest you begin by educating yourself regarding vegan nutrition for children. We have plenty of articles right here at VegFamily for you to read as well as dietician input from our staff Registered Dieticians, Dina Aronson and Marty Davey. Here's a list of articles and dietician questions and answers that would be good for you to read:

Nourishing Your Independent Toddler by Cathe Olson
Homemade Baby Food: A Fresh Start to Healthy Eating by Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers
Introducing Solids: Feeding vegan babies by Erin Pavlina
Vegan Toddler Food Guide by Brenda Davis, R.D. and Vesanto Melina M.S., R.D.
Vegetarian Diets -- Position of ADA
Vegetarian to Vegan: 101 reasons not to feed your child dairy by Dr. Linda Folden Palmer
Ensuring Nutrition in Young Vegan Children by Katharina Bishop
Helping Vegan Children Enjoy Non-Vegan Parties by Melanie Wilson
The Talk by Jennifer Alyah
We're Different, and That's OK by Mary Eileen Finch

Questions and Answers:

Once you have educated yourself you can educate your family members that take issue with your child's vegan diet. Approach the subject with them by explaining that you appreciate their concern for your child's health. Acknowledging someone's concern is always a good starting point. Then proceed to explain to them what you feel necessary to address their fears that a vegan diet is insufficient nutrition for a child.I would suggest priniting out the Vegetarian Diets -- Position of the ADA and giving them copies. Be prepared to answer their questions and offer to find out the answers to whatever question they have that you cannot answer. The point is to inform and educate them, all the while gaining their trust and satisfaction that you have entered into veganism with knowledge and factual information and that you are being careful to provide your child with optimal nutrition. It might also help to have your child seen by her pediatrician for a well-child checkup and present that clean bill of health to them as evidence. That might serve as the "counseling" your family demands of you.

The thought might cross your mind to estrange yourself from your family and the temptation to do so when you are threatened by them is often overwhelming. Keep in mind that they are ignorant and do have your child's concern at heart. Appreciate that and remember the value of kinship.

Just so you are aware of previous cases of actual legal proceedings, read When Vegetarian Families Encounter the Law by Charles R. Attwood, M.D., F.A.A.P.

We at VegFamily wish you all the best!

Sponsors:

Vote for VegFamily!